tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post5002657592969695146..comments2023-06-29T08:59:07.803-05:00Comments on Renewing Your Mind: Modesty, the Bikini, & Lust, Oh My!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10802930103300388945noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-24102810214567523492013-09-24T01:41:16.680-05:002013-09-24T01:41:16.680-05:00Both men and women are stimulated by the sight of ...Both men and women are stimulated by the sight of skin. Men, on average, are more so than women - but women are as well. The 'slippery slope' argument of modesty doesn't work, because modesty is an issue of the heart (it's also a logical fallacy and nonsensical).<br /><br />1) Has any authority figure (parent, pastor, husband, teacher, etc) asked you to dress more modestly? If so, change.<br />2) Do you *feel* like you are dressed modestly? If you feel what you wear is "modest" - then you pass the next test. God looks at the heart. However, since the word modesty literally means "Sense of shame (with connotations of regard and submission to others)" - this doesn't mean you should be perfectly fine just wearing anything. Rather, that you should take do care and thought in your wardrobe that it is a) covering and b) respectful to those around you. If you take this care in thought, then you answer only to God and not to friends who may hold stricter standards.<br />3) Do you know of men in your environment who are uncomfortable with the way you dress? (And if you are not sure, ask a leader in a church group. When I was younger, the leaders of the college group had the men write anonymous letters to the girls - they were very sweet. Men want to see us as sisters (and vice versa!), and the girls coming in with midriff tops and low ride jeans were not helping. We are to act in a spirit of love - not selfishness. [And no, they didn't ask for sweatshirts or bathrobes. They just wanted erogenous zones covered and no spaghetti straps/rampant cleavage). If you do, respect them and do what you can to "live in peace" and not tempt them to stumble. Yes, you are your brother's keeper. You are not responsible for their thoughts and actions, but if there is something reasonable you can do to help (such as wear a shirt with a higher collar and some sleeves) - then show some love to your brother.<br />4) Are you causing female friends to stumble in the way you dress by tempting them to dress less modestly than they are comfortable with? (Protect the weaker brother). This is harder to figure out, as simply dressing less modestly will not necessarily cause a stumbling block. However, in some social groups there can be pressure on looks or conformity - so be sure that your actions and manner of dress are not pressuring someone else to compromise their values.<br /><br /><br />As for bikinis - while there is no hard and fast rule, many bikinis would not fit the definition of "modesty and discreetness" in 1 Tim 2:9. (Discreetness being an even more intense form of modesty and moderation that is sober minded, self-controlled, and appropriate to the situation at hand). Rather, many bikinis cover little more than the essentials - which is the opposite of modesty and discretion - it's trying to get "as close as you can" to the line without going over. One could even make an argument that it's the equivalent of a dating couple engaging with each other in every possible way but sex and still claiming that their relationship is virginal. That is not to say there are not modest two-pieces out there (some more modest than swimsuits) or that those are wrong - but the mindset that often underlies picking out a summer bikini is anything but modesty. It is that mindset (I can wear what I want, so what if it's skimpy, so what if the boys lust after me, that's *their* sin problem, etc) that is full of indiscretion and pride.Amonitenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-50966638017656595102013-07-02T17:48:45.911-05:002013-07-02T17:48:45.911-05:00Good stuff!
I also wrote on this a couple days ago...Good stuff!<br />I also wrote on this a couple days ago too...<br />http://wordofawoman.com/2013/07/01/bikinis-sepulchres-bathing-machines/wordofawoman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-23237022603654911822013-06-27T16:22:26.456-05:002013-06-27T16:22:26.456-05:00Yes! And I totally agree with your point that this...Yes! And I totally agree with your point that this line of thought downgrades men to being sub-human lust machines who are incapable of self control.Katie Hurdhttp://compartmentliving.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-22046865792160227882013-06-04T13:58:41.189-05:002013-06-04T13:58:41.189-05:00Oh good! I look forward to reading it. I actuall...Oh good! I look forward to reading it. I actually have more I want to say to expand on the topic, and had you in mind to ask a few questions of!Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-15734228414426398322013-06-04T13:57:04.318-05:002013-06-04T13:57:04.318-05:00Kelly, I found this really interesting, and wrote ...Kelly, I found this really interesting, and wrote a piece contrasting your thoughts with what I've learned about Jewish views on modesty. http://outoftheorthobox.blogspot.com/2013/06/christian-modesty-jewish-modesty.htmlRuchi Kovalnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-6149107652570292142013-06-01T10:16:28.624-05:002013-06-01T10:16:28.624-05:00It's not actually "so obvious" :)It's not actually "so obvious" :)Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-17158815457405416542013-05-30T20:15:38.640-05:002013-05-30T20:15:38.640-05:00Thank you and you're welcome!Thank you and you're welcome!Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-80723486890228722632013-05-30T20:00:49.339-05:002013-05-30T20:00:49.339-05:00Great piece! And thanks for linking me. :)Great piece! And thanks for linking me. :)Emily Maynardhttp://emilyisspeakingup.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-24649159787446044992013-05-30T18:20:24.743-05:002013-05-30T18:20:24.743-05:00I've only got one bathing suit at the moment, ...I've only got one bathing suit at the moment, a one-piece, but I'd like to get a bikini too now that I don't have to do as much chasing of children as when they were younger. Would love to hear more about various expectations/understandings of modesty in places you have lived. Shoot me an email if you get a chance.Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-60960162092219604212013-05-30T16:32:25.928-05:002013-05-30T16:32:25.928-05:00LOVE this. Thanks for having the courage to write ...LOVE this. Thanks for having the courage to write it. Sometimes, I rock a bikini; others, I wear mom-ish, skirted swimwear. It generally has to do with how many toddlers I'll be chasing and whether or not water slides will be a part of the day more so than modesty concerns though. I've traveled and lived abroad quite a bit, and I've learned that the definition of modesty is completely different depending on culture, location, and crowd. And as you point out, even in America, there's no singular definition. The point is that we all need to stop judging others based on appearance anyway and move to something deeper.Camillenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-19854261634436386932013-05-30T14:33:55.829-05:002013-05-30T14:33:55.829-05:00You're welcome :)You're welcome :)Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-71188482348139159372013-05-30T14:33:46.518-05:002013-05-30T14:33:46.518-05:00Thanks, Matt.Thanks, Matt.Kelly J Youngbloodhttp://www.kellyjyoungblood.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-85810004845223789352013-05-30T14:31:57.601-05:002013-05-30T14:31:57.601-05:00THANK YOU. This is awesome.THANK YOU. This is awesome.Kate Brauningnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23060911.post-24264849732374938162013-05-30T14:27:24.832-05:002013-05-30T14:27:24.832-05:00big clapping! It's amazing to me how such an ...big clapping! It's amazing to me how such an issue is seemingly so challenging to achieve a balanced view. :)Matt Applinghttp://www.thechurchofnopeople.com/noreply@blogger.com