Be
honest. Be vulnerable. It’s home group, small group, community
group, so it’s safe here. This is how
you build strong friendships. Real
community, the growth of the church, depends on it – no secrets. We can be honest here. What’s said in group stays in group.
Don’t let them in, don’t
let them see
Be Brave and Roar are radio anthems, and advertising campaigns cash in on
being true
to yourself. But do we really believe this?
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
When
people assume that ‘because Jesus’, we can be honest and true, that we all have
stories, so of course we can be in relationship together – it makes you wonder if they have ever held a story they didn't agree
with.
Be the good girl you always have to be…
Of
course we all have stories, and it’s so
easy to be honest when we’re wearing gloves. But what about when the gloves come off and
the gift is revealed, and it looks so much like a curse and you just don’t
understand?
Are
people aware that there are so many humans out there who can’t or won’t handle
vulnerability with the care it deserves?
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all
around…
When
we finally break through the lies and fears we have been taught, when we finally fall in love with who we
were made to be – we may find ourselves alone on the mountaintop.
Here I stand and here I stay….
Except
you can’t stay. When you come alive, it
won’t remain a magical movie moment. Oh
yes, stand on that mountain and let it all go – enjoy that moment of
freedom. Cling to it. Remember it.
Because
when you find yourself in the valley, people will still want you to hide.
Accepting yourself is such a tender thing. We walk around gingerly, afraid if someone
touches us the wrong way, we’ll bleed all over.
No one wants blood and drama and mess in community! That’s a recipe for disunity, dissension,
disagreement, and who’s been taught to handle conflict well?
So how do you know? How do you know who is going to be Hans or who
is going to be Kristoff?
You
have no idea who will fight for you and who will abandon you. You can’t know if that friendly face will
shatter once they know your truths.
‘Because
Jesus’ does not solve the trauma of soul destruction. If anything, so often, Jesus becomes the
weapon.
Oh honesty,
vulnerability, freedom. What thin ice
you are to walk on.
Let the storm rage on
But
being alive is stepping onto the ice even though, and even because it cracks, because you know the waters underneath will be
their own form of redemption.
The cold never bothered me anyway
What
is this life we've been given, we've
chosen?
If only people knew the fragility all
around.
When
people talk so nonchalantly of vulnerability and honesty, I know they are the
bull, and I am the shop, my stories the fine china to be shattered and
abandoned.
Maybe
the gift of ice is too much for some people.
But
for those who are aware that being human means being fragile, fears and
rejections and even our stories don’t define us.
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Entering
the valley.
Embracing
pain for the sake of people.
Choosing
love over fear.
Having
an awareness of vulnerability.
Here I stand,
in the light of day
This
is what defines us.
This
is what builds real community.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Caris Adel is passionate about loving people, defending the
oppressed, and being a voice for justice.
She’s been married for 12 years, and with 5 kids, somehow finds the time
to write about affirming the humanity at www.carisadel.com.
1 comment:
It's tough, the honesty and fragility, isn't it. I am trying to be honest about myself, both to myself and to others. I'm never sure how it's going to go. What I am becoming increasingly convinced of is that it right to live in this way. It is being truly alive. Fully alive. Thanks for this writing - I will keep thinking on it.
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